Nonviolent Communication (NVC) Mentoring is an interactive process that takes place between individuals and mentors either on the phone or in person.
Mentors are trained under Thom Bond, the Founder and Director of the New York Center for Nonviolent Communication (NYCNVC), to facilitate growth and awareness without judgement. Our mentoring process affords a clear process of assessment, goal setting and ongoing practice, inspired by NVC consciousness.
NYCNVC Mentors use a combination of empathy and NVC education to help clients take action to more fully use their natural strengths and develop the areas where growth and integration is desired. By working with situations that apply specifically to your life experience and your relationships, the learning is greatly intensified.
Typical Mentoring Objectives
1) Clarify “Mentoring Agreement” as in purpose of calls (as follows) and the role, proportion and agreements about moving from Empathy to Teaching and Mentoring
2) Identify short, medium and long term objectives
3) Support Mentee in maintaining their own Empathy support, including “Empathy Buddy” and “Empathy Medic” relationships
4) Support Mentee to bring relevant material to the calls and track their direction and progress
5) Create and monitor agreements or “homework” to support real-life integration
6) Role-model Empathic Listening and Honest Expression
Sample Breakdown of a Call
In the first call or two, most of your time will be spent working on the identification of short, medium, and long term goals, based on a review of the Mentee’s “opening feedback forms.” It might also include setting up empathy support and practice group logistics. After that, a typical call might look like this.
First 5 minutes – short check-in, both of you, present feelings and needs.
Next 5 to 20 minutes - Check-in on Empathy Buddy status and experience, long and/or short term objectives. Refine empathy call skills.
Next 10 to 30 minutes – Review journal work, empathize, discern identified NVC principles, processes or ideas as they relate to a "real-life" situation.
Last 5 minutes – Harvesting and celebration. New or renewed “Homework” agreements.
Sample “Homework” Agreements for between Mentoring Calls
Journaling is helpful for most Mentees.
“3 Entry Journal” – this has a short entry about 1, NVC Successes or understandings, 2, Breakdowns or learning opportunities and 3, comments about their empathy sessions with their buddy.
“Live Feelings and Needs Exercise” – This is a journal kept usually in a small notebook. It is used to create new thought habits toward an awareness of Feelings and Needs. The Mentee writes a quote that someone said and the corresponding feelings and needs associated with the words. This can be done 1 to even 5 times a day, depending on how hard the Mentee wants to play. There are many versions of this exercise that develop different aspects of one's consciousness.
“Appreciation Journal” – This helps Mentee increase awareness of met needs and feelings as a “radar” to needs. Mentee writes down an O, F and met need. 1 to 5 times a day.
"Create a list" of breakdowns, breakthroughs and live situations to bring to call.