Empathy Calls and Buddies

The purpose of empathy calls is to practice giving and receiving empathy. As part of our offerings, NYCNVC will assist you in finding an empathy buddy at the beginning of each program.  You then choose a mutually agreeable time to call each other every week. 

The amount of time you spend on these calls may vary, however, you may want to plan on at least forty five minutes to an hour.  Generally the idea is to "exchange" empathy with both taking a turn providing empathy for the other.    Be flexible and make agreements on each call.

How do I participate in an Empathy Call?

We encourage you in the beginning to stick with the classical NVC format for giving empathy, especially if you are fairly new to NVC and are still practicing basic skills,  However, we recognize that forging a connection is always more important than the format of the empathy. 

Reminder:  the NVC form for empathy includes guessing feelings and needs and may sound something like this: 

Are you feeling________________?

Because you need, want________________________?

If you are already familiar and comfortable with connecting through NVC empathy, you may want to explore how to “naturalize” the phrasing to meet more needs for connection. 

Remember: Staying with these guidelines is so different from our accustomed ways of speaking and thinking that it may be very hard or uncomfortable to do at first.  Our experience is that there are many layers of depth to be discovered through this very simple tool if we stick with it .

Empathy Medics

We highly recommend securing agreements with at least 2 other people in the community who can be there for any emergency empathy you might need at any given time. Your buddy is there for you for your empathy calls, but may be unavailable at other times during the week. This will allow for some extra support and relief.

What Next?

If you are interested in being in one of our programs or would like to find a buddy or medic, please call our office at (646) 201 9226 or email us at